To hate or not to hate . . . 💢

First, are you brave and honest enough to call that feeling of utter dread and flaming fire in your heart actual hate? Do you say, “Oh, I don’t like her.” Then your friend responds with, “You hate her?” and you say, “No, I don’t believe in hate. I just CAN’T STAND HER . . .” I’m just gonna go ahead and say, “Yeah, right.” Be honest. Let’s learn how to stop hating people.

Do you know that anyone who hides his/her sin will never prosper? Why are you hiding what God already knows is in your heart? I gotta tell you this: “If you hide your sins, you will not succeed. If you confess and reject them, you will receive mercy” (Proverbs 28:13). Yay! Mercy!

Also, hiding hatred makes us liars (Proverbs 10:18) and we know what the Bible says about liars, right?

. . . Warning: It’s about to get real.

But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)

. . .

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I know . . . I know . . . That was intense. And I’m not picking on you. I was all of those characters listed in that verse not long ago. Perhaps you only connected with just one of them?

. . . Lord, have mercy on our souls — me and everyone reading — and help us to love our enemies as You command us to do. Walk us through learning how to forgive quickly and from our hearts in Jesus’s name. Amen.

What else about liars?

The Bible also says that a liar’s father is the devil. Is that cho’ daddy?!

“For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).

I know, I know — more intensity. But if you’re someone like me who understands hatred or if it’s something you’re easily tempted by without Christ, you know that you’re already an intense individual! 🙂

I think you can handle it.

Let’s keep chopping away at this. We’re trying to learn how to stop hating people here.

Hey, let’s be honest. That’s all.

Do you gossip about them? (Even mental gossip?)

When we grip hatred in our hearts, we often develop a desire to gossip about the person we hate. You see? That’s what the Bible calls “loving to do the evil things he does” from that scripture above in John 8:44. Would you have considered yourself one who loves to hate? Maybe not before reading this. I discussed this gossip topic more in my How to Stop Gossiping as a Christian blog post. It’s an in-your-face quick read that will bless you.

Imitate God (as HIS children), not the father of lies and slander.

Do you know what else the word “satan” means? Diablos, which means slanderer. Whoa. If we’re constantly speaking (or thinking) about how terrible someone is and not going into prayer for them and speaking life over them, we’re slandering them (Is that yo’ daddy?). But you might say, “She is all those things!” It’s not our job to harp on how terrible someone is because we were once slaves ourselves. It is our job to pray for them. So if she is all those things, go to war for her heart.

“But I say to you, love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you” (Matthew 5:44).

How? Find Scriptures Like These

• “The Father is the One who sent me. No one can come to me unless the Father draws him to me, and I will raise that person up on the last day” (John 6:44).
  • Pray this: Father God, Your word says that no one can come to Jesus unless You draw them, so draw (person’s name) to Jesus so He can work on their heart like He’s working on mine. Fill (person’s name) with love and soften his/her heart. Teach (person’s name) Your ways.
• Speak life over him or her:
  • Pray this: Lord, it is not your will that anyone should perish, so Lord save his/her soul and free him/her from their sinful nature and works of the flesh. I come against the spirit of anger, hatred, jealousy, pride, and greed. I ask you to bring him/her into his/her destiny for the Kingdom of God in Jesus’s name.

Find more scriptures and pray them from your heart over your enemies.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, when my fellow believer sins against me, how many times must I forgive him? Should I forgive him as many as seven times?

Matthew 18:21

I wonder what Peter was thinking about when he asked Jesus that. Was he like, “‘Cause Antoine is doing too much right now. I gotta forgive him?“

But this is what Jesus said in response:

Jesus answered, “I tell you, you must forgive him more than seven times. You must forgive him even if he does wrong to you seventy-seven times.”

Matthew 18:22

Now that we’re ready to be honest with ourselves, let’s go further into the Word of God. Sound good?

Hatred = Murder?

So Jesus told us in the bible that being angry with someone is like murdering them. In this case, the heart is dead-set on being angry with that person — not interested in forgiving. That heart is screaming, “FORGET ALL OF THAT!” (like Kevin L.A. Ewing comically says in his teachings).

Ahem . . .

Hate = murder. Now, we all sin at times, including us Christians. The difference between us and non-believers is that our sin is supposed to lessen and become like this: falling for a second, taking it to God, and getting back up again. We are not called to live in constant sin; that is where sin becomes iniquity and it’s how we end up in danger of that dire warning in Rev 21:8 above, which might have made some want to run away from this blog post. I don’t bite.

“You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’  But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell” (Matthew 5:21-22).

What do I do?!

Get real and pray about it.

Think about it: what is your heart screaming to God? Is it saying, “She hurt me, but I’m gonna find a way to pray for her and forgive her. God, I feel that hate coming back up again. I don’t want it. Please take it away and give me a forgiving heart of flesh, not this cold, dead, stony one. Lord, I need you to take it away.”

Or is your heart saying, “Ugh. I can’t stand her. Why is she here? She’s an evil, hateful, nasty, no good — ” Oh, you get it . . . When that hatred starts rearing in your heart, it’s a warning! That feeling is a warning to do something about it immediately.

Is it Painful to Hear “Pray for Your Enemies?”

Does your heart hate even this command, “Pray for your enemies . . . “? But seriously, you must push through this — even if you gotta repeat that you forgive them and wholeheartedly pray about it, casting down or rejecting every evil imagination that rises within you about the person. This must be taken care of. Keep at it until it’s gone.

Let’s talk about unforgiveness. You gotta let that go and not allow it to fester in your heart. Do you pray for help? From your heart? Are you honest with how you feel? That is true intimacy — not hiding. Remember what we talked about concerning hiding hatred? Yeah, we’re not liars, we’re honest about it even though it hurts. And I know it hurts 🙏🏽.

Don’t worry, we’re about to get to the bottom of this how-to-stop-hating-people thing. Buckle up, my friend.

Greet Her Again Tomorrow

Let’s say you have a coworker who was just inches away from you when you said, “Good morning,” to her and she walked right past you. For some people, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but to the hot-headed (before Christ) who fight hatred, we would have to wrestle that thing down in our hearts. This is dying to yourself, crucifying your flesh. This, my dear, is the Kingdom of God.

Find a way to keep your light shining. Tomorrow morning, greet her again and move on. If she still ignores you, ask for wisdom on how to deal with the situation, but don’t let it fester.

We’re not going back to being that person again, remember? We’re not. Instead of thinking of being offended and cursing her in your mind with imaginary arguments, “Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth” (Colossians 3:2) and how you want to honor God, not your old sinful self. As believers, we are no longer of this world. We live by a different set of rules now and they lead to life, not death.

Managing the Mind

So what does it mean to “cast down imaginations” (2 Corinthians 10:5-6)? It means if you notice yourself cursing the person in your mind or speaking evil of them, you stop and say, “Nope, that doesn’t line up with God’s word because God’s word says to forgive and pray for your earthly enemies, not curse them, so I’m gonna stop right here and ask God for forgiveness and the grace to handle this HIS way.

It means not making up arguments that end up flooding your mind and distancing you from your task of seeking the kingdom of God and what He wants. If you’re struggling with unforgiveness, try to meditate on the Bible scriptures that speak about forgiveness and how to handle people.

Hmm, What Time Will the Sun Set Today? 🌥

I suggest looking at unrighteous anger as a ticking time bomb where you need to be urgently on your face asking Jesus for help with the anger when it’s real heavy. Remember: that initial feeling of hate rearing its head is a warning! We’re told not to let the sun go down if we’re angry with someone. So before the day ends, we should have that taken anger care of. If we’re struggling with it, we must take it to the Holy Spirit in urgent prayer. Jesus said to go make it right with the person before we can even bring our offering to Him.

“And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”

Ephesians 4:26-27

One of the jobs of the Holy Spirit (our Gift! 💕) is to remind us of the Word of God. So we need to study the Bible. We need to know what it says (Ephesians 5:10). This is part of our Christian occupation. Knowing what it says is a dire need. We gotta read the Bible and store it in our hearts like David said, “I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you,” (Psalm 119:11). That is so loving.

What is a Foothold??!

So it looks like the term “foothold” was mad popular in the 1900s, but gained a lesser peak in popularity in 2019. Maybe people began mountain climbing more recently because a foothold is “a secure position from which further progress can be made” perhaps up a mountain . . . Wait a minute . . . A leg-up for the enemy?!!! We can’t be out here giving the enemy a lift or a “LYFT” to our house!

Imagine bending your knees, cupping your hands near a mountain, and helping your true enemy — rulers, authorities, powers of this world’s darkness, and the spiritual powers of evil in the spiritual realm — up that mountain (which is actually your life). Your true enemy — who hates your guts, by the way — is like a roaring lion, (probably panting, and salivating), seeking a human (who is living in sin) to DEVOUR. “Control yourselves and be careful! The devil, your enemy, goes around like a roaring lion looking for someone to eat” (1 Peter 5:8).

You tryna get chomped on?! Nah.

If you didn’t know, the word “Satan” means adversary — enemy.

Definition of a Foothold

Once we become Christians, we must offer our lives as living sacrifices. Walking in the Spirit is our offering to God. If we hold onto anger, we’re giving off a stench to God. He won’t even forgive us for the many sins we committed today if we haven’t forgiven someone else for their sins against us—even if it was years ago. This is the Kingdom of God, if you were wondering. This is the narrow way. Imagine the number of demons we invite into our lives by allowing unforgiveness to have a cold, death grip on our hearts . . .

Are You Even Ready for Forgiveness?

Imagine going day by day, still hating people and refusing to forgive them (a heart screaming, “NEVER!”), but still praying to God and acting like everything is cool . . . No.

How many of our own sins are piling up each day while we knowingly or unknowingly hold onto hatred and unforgiveness? I’m telling you, that is not the way, not the narrow way.

“Yes, IF you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins. But IF YOU DON’T forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins.”(Matthew 6:14-15).

It got real real, huh?

A Bit of My Story

Let me tell you a story. I come from a life where I was the Queen of Grudges. It was so easy for me to hate people and hold onto it forever. FOREVER I TELL YOU!!! Once they hit that Hate List, they were there to stay — STAAY! ! . . . Lol, just trying to lighten the mood here, heh-heh. . . *Ahem* It’s sad because I needed so much help emotionally. Any emotional issue you can think of, I had it and not that long ago either. That was before Jesus set me free from deep-seated anger and hatred. AHHH! He gave me a new heart ❤️️! I mean, I carried darkness around DAILY.

“For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! 9For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true” (Ephesians 5:8-9).

Praise the Lord for freedom!

A Prayer for You

Join me in a prayer for help with dealing with this anger. Our Father God, thank You for loving us and offering Jesus to save us from our old sinful nature, our old sinful lifestyles, and our evil thought patterns. We come to you in faith as your children. You told us this in Your word:

“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

So teach us to imitate You in all that we do. We want to love you with all our hearts, minds, and souls. Help us to love you more, crave your word, and renew our minds and hearts. Give us forgiving hearts and show us how to bring the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven in our daily lives. Make it obvious that we are the light of the world and the salt of the earth. We’re asking for your help in Jesus’s name. Amen.

Look out for Part 2

I’m working on Part 2 of this How to Stop Hating People series. Stay tuned and have the most awesome day, even if you gotta fight (your real enemy) for a bit.

—🧡 Alisha